of Asheville Magazine
Here's what's happening in the new
paradigm, holistic world...
Asheville City of Light
Way to Achieve Peace...Being it
They Came for
10 January 2005 by Thom Hartman
Income Tax NOT Necessary
Virato reads Deepak Chopra
Reality: The Last Frontier
Insanity of Printing
Psychotherapy & Mysticism
American Boys & Aggression
Marijuana vs. Beer
Covert Christian Kingdom
Animal Essences for Healing
Soul Recovery in Western Culture
Unusual UFO Encounter
Mystical $20 bill
Weil Misses the Boat?
Water--Elixir or Poison?
Sprouts: Good or Bad?
Monsanto, the Bad Seed
Fluoride IS Poison
Healing with Crystals
A potpourri of reviews, etc.
Ground Zero Asheville?
National & International
Health & Healing
Center & Retreats
A Touch of
You're invited to
Letters to the Editor
well as info on us
Holistic, New Age
by Jon Carroll
keep saying satire is dead because reality is always weirder -- and they
keep proving it. Happened again during the Super Bowl. Just unbelievable.
First we had an ad brought to us by the U.S. government's War on Some
Drugs. It shows a couple looking expectantly at a strip from a home
pregnancy test. Apparently, the news is bad -- the test is positive. The
voice-over announces solemnly that they're about to become the youngest
grandparents on their block. We cut to a different angle and see a teenage
girl sitting on a toilet and crying. Then the ad suggests that the girl
became pregnant because she smoked pot, which no doubt loosened her
inhibitions and caused her to go all the way with Jason.
The rest of the Super Bowl brought numerous beer ads featuring young dudes
partying with hot babes. The babes gyrated and sucked their lower lips.
The guys grinned and slapped each other on the back. There were sexy twins
in bikinis. There was revelry. And the message was: Buy our beer. You'll
have fun with our beer. You'll get really hammered and meet twins who will
leer at you seductively. Oh yes, gals really like guys who are puking on
Do women get pregnant because their inhibitions have been lowered by too
much alcohol? Oh, never. Beer is good and fun and legal. Pot is bad and
dangerous, which is why it's illegal. Smoke pot: lots of consequences.
Drink beer: no consequences. I have heard that beer leads to the harder
stuff -- wine, brandy, even vodka. But that's probably a rumor started by
people who don't want you to have fun.
It is my personal opinion that the government should get out of the
business of punishing people who use illegal drugs. I don't mind a list of
controlled substances -- I don't want crack available over the counter --
but I think putting people in jail for getting high or for selling drugs
is ludicrous. Let's decriminalize it and shift our law enforcement to
larger areas of need.
If the government thinks differently, OK. But then it really has to do
something about alcohol. Alcohol is probably the most dangerous
recreational drug known. It harms the body -- brain, liver, pancreas
--more than heroin. It impedes motor reflexes more than cocaine. And as
for pot -- well, ask any cop whether he'd rather arrest someone stoned on
pot or loaded on booze. Carnage on our nation's highways, friends. Carnage
in our nation's families. Do you know someone whose family was broken up
by alcoholism? Do you know someone who was beaten by her father when he
got liquored up? OK, same question about pot. There are certainly people
who mess up their lives by smoking too much pot, but mostly they eat
Cheetos and watch "American Idol."
And as for families -- you want heartbreak, look at the families who have
fathers or brothers or daughters in prison for drug-related offenses. The
drugs didn't destroy those families, the government did -- the same
government that finds a useful distinction between alcohol and marijuana.
The Super Bowl ads cost between $2 million and $2.2 million for 30 seconds
of airtime. The government ran two spots. Say $4 million. The city of
Oakland is threatening to close the majority of its libraries because of
budget shortages. Would $4 million help that problem? Oh my yes.
The hidden costs of the War on Some Drugs are staggering. Take all the
money spent on law enforcement, all the money spent on advertisements, all
the salaries and expenses for all the drug czars -- all those bucks going
to fight a hypocritical war that will never be won. Maybe it's not satire
after all. Maybe it's tragedy.
It's a place called Miller Time, a dank cavern smelling of bat guano.
I love little baby ducks, old pickup trucks.
San Francisco Chronicle
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